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Dame Wotta Tripp Advice Sitemap

Alphabetical Sitemap

  • Dame Wotta Tripp Advice is the funniest site on the internet. Packed with advice, articles and wicked services, you will be laughing for days. Fresh cries for help are answered in the hilarious advice column twice a week. Laugh, shop in one of several Dame Wotta Tripp Advice stores, interact or join the 'It's Absolutely Scandalous' Group and enjoy the gossip! Dame Wotta Tripp's shadow-humour is sorcerer-dark and perhaps that is why she claims that humor is best 'taken black with no sugar'. Who is she? You decide.
    index.html
  • Who is Dame Wotta Tripp? An article about Dame Wotta Tripp and her extraordinary life helping the afflicted.
    who-is-dame-wotta-tripp.html
  • Dame Wotta Tripp's family history and Earthly credentials are presented in this revealing article.
    wotta-tripps-credentials.html
  • Dame Wotta Tripp is interviewed by Velociity Starkk of 'Nebula Magazine', who does not fare so well.
    interview-with-dwt.html
  • Dame Wotta Tripp counsels that she can help even you, and exhorts peope to come to her for advice.
    help-even-you.html
  • Dame Wotta Tripp's feline familiar, Ishfold - writer, poet and novelist - pens the content for Cat's Corner. Here you will find the wisdom of cats revealed in articles and snippets of catly information.
    cats-corner.html
  • Paws for Thought is part of the 'Cat's Corner' area of Dame Wotta Tripp's amazing website and is run by Ishfold, who is her feline animal companion and familiar.
    paws-for-thought.html
  • Dame Wotta Tripp Advice and Cat's Corner are proud to announce Ishfold's first novel, 'Squirrel in the Wind', and offer the prologue here as a sample for visitors and fans to read in advance of the publish date.
    announcing-ishfolds-first-novel!.html
  • Ishfold will write a wicked feline curse for you that can be emailed or texted to a frenemy!
    hexting-the-power-of-a-cats-curse.html
  • Felidicta is a tiny cat dictionary of intimate cat words that most people don't know, but which of course all educated cats are very familiar with. Translated from Kit-E-Kat, Felidicta will be enlarged over time.
    felidicta-a-cats-dictionary.html
  • Ishfold, Dame Wotta Tripp's cat, answers letters sent in by his readers and fans.
    letters-to-ishfold.html
  • A reader writes to ask Ishfold if Dame Wotta Tripp is scary in real life.
    is-dame-wotta-scary-in-real-life.html
  • Penelope sees ghostly cats everywhere and asks Ishfold for help because people think she's crazy.
    cats-everywhere.html
  • Caroline offends Ishfold by writing to ask him if he has a girlfriend.
    does-ishfold-have-a-girlfriend.html
  • Ishfold advises Tim, who has allergies and coughs all night, what to do to aid his recovery and get some proper rest.
    how-to-stop-coughing.html
  • Justine writes to ask Ishfold if he is a fake.
    justine-is-a-bit-curious.html
  • 9 year old Stuart asks Ishfold about the nature and language of hyperspace.
    what-is-hyperspace.html
  • A man who has never had a girlfriend writes to Ishfold for advice on finding love.
    helping-andre-to-be-himself.html
  • Geraldine writes to ask Ihfold if she should make special preparations for 2012 and afterwards.
    star-kittens.html
  • A reader complains regarding the sexuality of fictional squirrels.
    simply-beastly-book.html
  • Ishfold helps a suffering fan by offering handy medical advice.
    digestive-issues.html
  • A boy writes to Ishfold to ask him if cats usually like having their tails played with.
    a-cats-tail.html
  • Ishfold has a funny turn while contemplating the food that McDonalds serves to it's vctims.
    fast-and-nasty.html
  • Rory Writes to Ishfold for advice about how to make perfect mashed potatoes.
    perfect-mashed-potatoes-every-time.html
  • Ishfold the cat's essay about jellyfish.
    the-jellyfishies.html
  • Ishfold tells the secrets of finding a comfortable, loving new home!
    procuring-a-human.html
  • Ishfold tells us how to choose a name wisely for a new kitten or cat companion.
    naming-your-new-kitty.html
  • Ishfold writes about the cruelty of not letting a kitten sleep where it chooses to, such as curled up with you on your bed.
    where-does-your-cat-or-kitten-sleep.html
  • Ishfold gives very good advice on how to groom your companion cat and avoid hairballs.
    cat-grooming.html
  • Ishfold explains why it might be your fault if your cat is going bald.
    it-may-be-your-fault-that-your-cat-is-going-bald.html
  • Ishfold writes a small essay on the Horse Chestnut tree & its many benefits for people and cats.
    the-horse-chestnut-tree.html
  • Ishfold explains to everyone that cat's are wonderful creatures who make delightful companions - unless they are stripe-wads, that is!
    cats-are-absolutely-wonderful.html
  • Ishfold explains how to make guests welcome and make sure to include cats in all of the fun and festivities.
    making-guests-welcome.html
  • Ishfold attempts to explain to humans how cruel it is to tease or laugh at cats.
    looking-reproachfully-at-people.html
  • Ishfold explains why he wishes that cats had opposable thumbs and wings as well.
    opposable-thumbs-and-wings.html
  • Send a free humorous Dame Wotta Tripp e-card to a friend, enemy or frenemy!
    send-an-e-card.html
  • Dame Wotta Tripp's Dating Site caters to people who might not be, well, average. If you are a lonely but quite peculiar heart, then visit us and see where you might best fit in.
    wotta-tripp-dating.html
  • Cold Dawn is the Dame Wotta Tripp dating service for colder, psychopathic people who don't really care very much.
    cold-dawn.html
  • 'Fuglings' is a Dame Wotta Tripp dating service for the duckling unlikely to ever become a swan.
    fuglings.html
  • The 'My Spud-Muffin' Dame Wotta Tripp dating service caters to the average sofa-potato who dislikes moving around too much.
    my-spud-muffin.html
  • 'Oddjobs' is the Dame Wotta Tripp dating service for odd people & mis-matches who have a difficult time finding love.
    oddjobs.html
  • 'Pixie Pleasures' is the Dame Wotta Tripp dating service for vertically challenged petite persons.
    pixie-pleasures.html
  • 'Stalk Only Me' is the Dame Wotta Tripp dating service where people who are compulsive stalkers can discreetly target each other.
    stalk-only-me.html
  • 'Sweet'n'High' is the Dame Wotta Tripp dating service for people who are perpetually high, wasted and generally out of it.
    sweet-n-high.html
  • Allow Dame Wotta Tripp to find a suitable partner for you so that the perfect marriage can be arranged and tailored to meet your needs!
    wotta-arrangement-marriages-arranged-just-for-you.html
  • Dame Wottta Tripp dating offers free personal adverts for your viewing pleasure.
    personals.html
  • Contented clients write in with testimonials about their happy experiences using the Wotta Tripp Dating service.
    dating-testimonials.html
  • If you're looking for love, Dame Wotta Tripp's article 'How To Meet the Right People' explains how you can meet new people who won't destroy your life, but will instead complement it.
    how-to-meet-the-right-people.html
  • Dame Wotta Tripp gives excellent advice about how men and women should behave when out together on dates, as well as flirting tips for both sexes.
    how-to-behave-when-you-go-on-a-date.html
  • Dame Wotta Tripp explores the many opportunities for accidents to take place during sexual exploits in this article about the hidden dangers of the boudoir.
    the-dangerous-side-of-love.html
  • Dame Wotta Tripp discusses the difference between morals and ethics and the impact that they can have on your life and your relationships.
    your-decision-ethics-versus-morals.html
  • Dame Wotta Tripp gives useful tips about building up self-confidence and self-assurance so that you will feel good about yourself when you meet people.
    how-to-become-more-confident.html
  • Dame Wotta Tripp advises people about difficult emotions and gives tips on self-love and emotional control.
    do-your-emotions-betray-you.html
  • Dame Wotta Tripp provides excellent advice about effective and honest communication in personal relationships.
    effective-communication.html
  • Dame Wotta Tripp tells you how to try and save your rocky relationship, and when you should cut your losses and move on to greener pastures.
    how-can-i-save-my-relationship.html
  • Dame Wotta Tripp gives sterling advice about managing your finances properly, which will impact your relationship positively, making it stronger and priming it for continued success.
    money-and-romance.html
  • Dame Wotta Tripp lays out an abundance of steamy ideas to spice up your love life and put the sparkle back into your romance.
    turn-the-heat-up-under-your-relationship.html
  • Dame Wotta Tripp gives relationship tips that will help you to keep your relationship fresh and love blooming.
    keeping-your-relationship-fresh.html
  • Dame Wotta Tripp gives the necessary tips for dealing with and even getting rid of the scourge of relatives who have overstayed their welcome in your home.
    in-laws-and-other-monstrosities.html
  • Dame Wotta Tripp gives advice and tips for dealing with interfering partners, family members and friends so that you can get your freedom and privacy back.
    interference-and-manipulation.html
  • Dame Wotta Tripp gives sound advice regarding the agonies of teen romance and how to deal with problems - before the texting stops!
    teen-romance.html
  • Dame Wotta Tripp explains the signs that your partner might be cheating on you and gives advice on what you can do about it.
    is-your-partner-having-an-affair.html
  • Dame Wotta Tripp advises about how to catch a cheating lover in the act and get the evidence you need to make a relationship decision.
    how-to-catch-them-cheating.html
  • Dame Wotta Tripp gives advice about dealing with the dreaded and inevitably painful break-up of a failed relationship.
    the-break-up.html
  • Dame Wotta Tripp advises what to do after your relationship break-up.
    moving-on.html
  • Night Soil is a Moon-Garden of romantic love tips and techniques that will help you to plant seeds of new growth in your life and relationships - brought to you by Dame Wotta Tripp Advice.
    night-soil-a-moon-garden-of-tips-for-a-better-relationship.html
  • 'Secrets Of The Night' offers three romantic destinations. You may visit 'Moth Wings', 'Morgasms' or 'Sensual Poetry by Ishfold' to find advice, inspiration, tips, feline poetry and entertaining information to improve your love life.
    secrets-of-the-night.html
  • Dame Wotta Tripp brings to you Moth Wings, a romantic section full of advice for creating a more magical love life. Learn about aphrodisiacs and the secrets of attraction. Find out about the relationship between your dreams and love and discover all about real dream lovers. Learn simple love spells and see the real truth about the famous monument to love, theTaj Mahal, finally revealed.
    moth-wings.html
  • Explore the role that food can play in lovemaking with Dame Wotta Tripp.
    foods-of-love.html
  • Dame Wotta Tripp reveals a secret which casts doubt on the origin of the Taj Mahal while illustrating the difference between ordinary and unconditional love.
    the-real-taj-mahal.html
  • What attracts two people to each other? Dame Wotta Tripp examines age-old secrets of attraction to determine how you can maximize your appeal from the very first date through to that first saucy bedroom encounter!
    secrets-of-attraction.html
  • Dame Wotta Tripp examines the nature of dreams.and explains where we go and what we do while we are asleep in this world. Learn how you can take advantage of dreams and open up new worlds in your life.
    the-nature-of-dreams.html
  • Are dream lovers real? Dame Wotta Tripp says yes - most definitely! Learn how you can take shameless advantage of the dream world and lure a real dream lover into your life!
    dream-lovers.html
  • The night is for lovers! Dame Wotta Tripp examines the effects of the moon on the human psyche and shows how you can use simple moon-magic to draw love into your life.
    lover's-moon-love-spells.html
  • Dame Wotta Tripp explains about the two little words that men have used for hundreds of years to lure and seduce women with, and introduces the work of Dafydd ap Gwilym, a long-ago Welsh bard and philanderer, to illustrate her point.
    just-two-little-words.html
  • Dame Wotta Tripp brings to you 'Morgasms', full of spicy advice that covers such subjects as tantric sex, orgasms, love games, sex secrets from the past, and for the more unwary, pregnancy and children.
    morgasms.html
  • Dame Wotta Tripp explores sex secrets from ancient times, showing how nothing changes very much over time.
    sex-secrets-from-the-past.html
  • Dame Wotta Tripp explores with her readers the function of the orgasm from both a physiological and an esoteric point of view.
    what-is-an-orgasm.html
  • Dame Wotta Tripp selflessly shares her knowledge about amazing quantum orgasms and how to have them with her happy readers.
    how-to-have-amazing-orgasms.html
  • Dame Wotta Tripp tells her readers what causes the crazy feelings associated with being in love and explains what is happening in the brain when those emotions are running riot in your body.
    the-chemistry-of-love.html
  • Dame Wotta Tripp shares ideas for saucy games that will liven up your love life and put the fun back in your sexual encounters!
    games-you-can-play.html
  • Dame Woltta Tripp shows people how they can use the ancient practice of Tantra today to enhance ther sensual experiences and discover sexual bliss.
    tantric-sex.html
  • Dame Wotta Tripp gives advice to would-be parents and cautions about pregnancy and dealing with the resulting children, reminding her readers that they are wily, cannot be sent back and are never warrantied.
    pregnancy-and-babies.html
  • Dame Wotta Tripp's brilliant and intellectual feline familiar, Ishfold, composes sensual poetry for our reading pleasure, providing us with what is perhaps the first glimpse into the creative and poetic mind of a domestic cat.
    sensual-poetry-by-ishfold.html
  • Ishfold the cat's sensual poem about the fear of losing a cherished love, 'I Dream Of You'.
    i-dream-of-you.html
  • Ishfold the cat's sensual poem about a lost love, 'Nothing', cuts to the heart of a cat's lonely pain.
    nothing.html
  • Ishfold the cat's sensual poem 'Snow Mouse' highlights betrayal in love and a cat's wish for revenge.
    snow-mouse.html
  • Ishfold the cat's sensual poem 'All Is Vanity' illustrates the sad tale of a cat who ruined her natural charm after undergoing beauty treatments in a bid to become more of a glamor puss.
    all-is-vanity.html
  • Ishfold the cat's sensual poem 'Flight of Birds' is a romantic poem about time travel.
    flight-of-birds.html
  • Ishfold the cat's sensual poem 'It Isn't Natural' tackles the frequently taboo subject of unnatural love.
    it-isnt-natural.html
  • Ishfold the cat's sensual poem 'White Cat' is a love poem written about a beautiful faery cat who has stolen away another feline's heart.
    white-cat.html
  • Ishfold the cat's sensual poem about his unusual relationship with Dame Wotta Tripp, 'In The Shadow Of Her Hat', explores the themes of dependence versus independence.
    in-the-shadow-of-her-hat.html
  • Ishfold the cat's sensual poem 'Shy One' is about a bashful feline who is being encouraged to attend a full-moon convention of cats that is being held in the neighbourhood.
    shy-one.html
  • 'The Freckle' is Ishfold the cat's sensual poem about a beguiling freckle that adorns a certain cat's nose.
    the-freckle.html
  • 'Submit!' is Ishfold the cat's sensual poem written in honour of the ancient lion-headed goddess Sekhmet.
    submit.html
  • Wotta Works is Dame Wotta Tripp's online store where you can buy gifts of all descriptions. FunnyTee-shirts & much more!
    wotta-works-shops.html
  • Discover the huge variety of hilarious and fascinating gifts offered by the Wotta Works store for your enjoyment,
    wotta-works.html
  • The Green Cat Shop carries amusing cat-related giftware of all kinds - brought to you by Dame Wotta Tripp and her familiar and feline companion Ishfold, who runs the Cat's Corner.
    the-green-cat.html
  • Dame Wotta Tripp's shop ALCHEMyKOOL offers many magic-related gifts for purchase to her readers and fans.
    alchemykool.html
  • Dame Wotta Tripp's shop TRIPPSyDELICA offers a wide range of unusual and psychedelic-related gifts for purchase.
    trippsydelica.html
  • Dame Wotta Tripp offers both magickal and writing services through her Wotta Works Services Shoppe.
    wotta-works-services-shoppe.html
  • Dame Wotta Tripp's perfume line is crafted using a sure knowledge of human nature and an understanding of the effects of perfumes on the minds of men and women.
    wotta-waters-perfumery.html
  • Dame Wotta Tripp offers a wide variety of magical services to her happy clients.
    spells-and-magickal-services.html
  • Purchase a personal Wottascope from Dame Wotta Tripp. As she casts your unique chart she uses her centuries of experience and wisdom to help guide you through the ups and downs of life.
    wottascopes.html
  • Dame Wotta Tripp will provide a Tarot reading or cast the bones for you in your hour of need!
    tarot-&-divination.html
  • Dame Wotta Tripp is here to help you to solve your Earthly problems by creating the perfect spell just for you!
    custom-spell-work.html
  • Dame Wotta Tripp will proffer occult help to those who are beleaguered by dark and loathsome astral forces or who have run afoul of a vengeful magician or some other wicked entity. Email her immediately for help!
    occult-advice.html
  • Dame Wotta Tripp offers her clients an excellent and exclusive soul-loss insurance policy (SLIP) which will help protect your soul and insure it against loss, damage, theft and unethical bills of sale or astral contracts. Soul repairs and trauma treatments include the loan of a temporary digital blank-template soul when necessary during soul-loss investigation, recovery and repairs.
    soul-insurance-services.html
  • Submit accounts of your adventures using the free holographic samples of such experiences as 'Heaven', 'Hell', 'Fist-Fight' and 'Sea-Spell of the Siren' to Dame Wotta Tripp Advice as an inspiration to other less daring readers.
    submit-your-t-empirica-testimonials.html
  • Read the testimonials of lucky readers who have experienced 'T-Empirica' holographic downloads for themselves.
    read-the-t-empirica-testimonials-here!.html
  • Ask Dame Wotta Tripp a simple question and receive an immediate yes or no answer by using 'The Well of Wotta' online oracle.
    the-well-of-wotta.html
  • Dame Wotta Tripp explains to worried people what happens to them after they die, and what exactly it is that they can expect in the 'afterlife'. Finally put your mind at rest and find out the whole truth for yourself!
    what-happens-when-i-die-dame-wotta-tripp.html
  • Dame Wotta Tripp offers a Magick Godmother Service to certain applicants. Apply now!
    magick-godmother-service.html
  • Apply here to become the godchild of Dame Wotta Tripp for an entire year of warm, maternal astral contact.
    how-to-apply-for-godchild-status.html
  • You may submit your application for godchild status to Dame Wotta Tripp here before continuing to the DNA Sample page.
    apply-for-godchild-status.html
  • When applying to be a godchild of Dame Wotta Tripp it is required that you give a DNA sample. If selected, this will be necessary before receiving godchild status, so please give your sample at the same time that you apply. Simply follow the instructions on this page. It is simple and painless.
    submit-your-dna-sample-here.html
  • The Happy Godchild Fridge Art Gallery is a place where Dame Wotta Tripp proudly displays the art that her loving godchildren make and send to her during their year of sponsorship, and yes, she does put the pictures on one of her fridges!
    the-happy-godchild-fridge-art-gallery.html
  • Satisfied clients write in with warm testimonials regarding their happy time using the Magick Godmother Service and experiencing the comforting, maternal presence of Dame Wotta Tripp all year round.
    magick-godmother-service-testimonials.html
  • The Wotta Tripp Invisible College Of Magick is a place where those fortunate enough to be selected will study the magickal arts under the firm guidance of Dame Wotta Tripp herself.
    wotta-tripp-invisible-college-of-magick.html
  • The Wotta Tripp Invisible College Of Magick is a place where those fortunate enough to be selected will study the magickal arts under the firm guidance of Dame Wotta Tripp. Find out more about this magical opportunity which is offered only to the few and far between.
    about-wotticom.html
  • Dame Wotta Tripp invites you to browse the curriculum that is offered at the 'Wotta Tripp Invisible College of Magick (WOTTICOM).
    wotticom-curriculum.html
  • Dame Wotta Tripp proffers help when the words just won't come. You need to write that letter but you just aren't sure what to say, so let Wotta Tripp make that deision for you. She will compose the perfect letter to suit the situation you describe.
    letter-writing-services.html
  • Let Dame Wotta Tripp write that awkward letter for you. Use Dame Wotta Tripp's Letter Writing Service today!
    about-your-personal-letter.html
  • You can order Dame Wotta Tripp's Letter Writing Service here. Sometimes you just can't find the words, but Wotta Tripp always can.
    personal-letter-order-form.html
  • Dame Wotta Tripp's Letter Writing Service offers a sample letter for your perusal. This letter was prepared for someone who has a crooked and deceitful business partner.
    eliminate-your-crooked-business-partner.html
  • An example of a letter ordered by a man who has determined to quit his unpleasant employment and nasty supervisor.
    fire-your-hideous-boss.html
  • A 'Dear John' letter ordered by a reader and crafted personally by Dame Wotta Tripp for maximum impact.
    dump-your-cheating-lover.html
  • Dame Wotta Tripp helps someone to lose a selfish, unreliable friend.
    lose-your-selfish-unreliable-friend.html
  • Wotta Tripp helps a man to keep his awful mother-in-law permanently away.
    permanently-alienate-the-mother-in-law-from-hell.html
  • Dame Wotta Tripp helps someone apologize to a loved one.
    very-very-sorry.html
  • Wotta Tripp writes a bizarre proposal of marriage for a man hiding out in an English cave.
    will-you-marry-me.html
  • Satisfied clients write in with glowing testimonials about their amazing experiences using the Wotta Tripp Letter Writing service.
    letter-writing-service-testimonials.html
  • Do you need a darn good teling off? Allow Dame Wotta Tripp to thoroughly subjugate you with a stern written reprimand which will sting for days!
    you-need-a-darn-good-telling-off.html
  • Order your own personal 'Darn Good Telling Off' from Dame Wotta Tripp now - you know you need one!
    order-a-darn-good-telling-off.html
  • The Reverend Dame Wotta Tripp will hear your confession and afterwards you will either be absolved or sent for penance and possibly even for punishhment and Wottribution.
    confessional.html
  • The Reverend Dame Wotta Tripp will hear your confession immediately.
    confess.html
  • Make a written confession to Reverend Dame Wotta Tripp. Follow the instructions to unburden yourself
    written-confession.html
  • The penances prescribed by Reverend Dame Wotta Tripp are listed in this section as a guideline. Please read the page thoroughly after your confession and select the penance(s) that closest fits your particular sin(s).
    penance.html
  • Dame Wotta Tripp gives absolution to those who are burdened with unwholesome - even very disturbing - secrets. If they are entirely horrible you will be sent for punishment and possibly even Wottribution. That will certainly teach you to try a little harder!
    absolution.html
  • Reverend Dame Wotta Tripp has very kindly granted you absolution. What a very great relief!
    absolution-granted.html
  • Dame Wotta Tripp metes out Wottribution to those who seek a greater atonment and also to repeat offenders who have gone a lot too far and warrant a sterner, more virulent type of punishment.
    wottribution.html
  • If you have chosen or been selected for 'Wottribution', your ordeal has now begun. For certain people it will necessarily be harsh, but once over with, they will feel all squeaky-clean.
    wottribution-has-begun.html
  • Reverend Dame Wotta Tripp cauttions those who have arrived on this page to experience punishment that they should read the instructions very carefully to prepare themselves for the ordeal ahead. The sufferer will need firm resolve, because once activated, the automatic process of punishment cannot be easily stopped and they will be a fee charged to do so.
    punishment.html
  • A tour of Dame Wotta Tripp's dungeon, where the errant spirits of almost hopeless cases are temporarily restrained so that they can do no further damage. Dame Wotta Tripp labours hard to rehabilitate these tortured but dangerous souls.
    the-dungeon.html
  • Contented clients send in testimonials regarding their heartfelt relief after undergoing confession, punishment and Wottribution and feeling the weight of past sins drop from them as the burden of an ass drops to the ground at the end of a long day.
    punishment-testimonials.html
  • Dame Wotta Tripp deals with the concerns of anxious readers who want to know if the world ended in 2012. A complex subject, Dame Wotta Tripp is more than fitted for the task, and is here to address people's fears and soothe them, letting them know that all is well!
    did-the-world-end-in-2012-dame-wotta-tripp.html
  • Dame Wotta Tripp's personal radio station provides unusual listening for her visitors.
    wtf-radio.html
  • Dame Wotta Tripp is an advisor on earthly matters to FIFF, the Federation for Intergalactic Far-Flung Freedom. Learn about FIFF here.
    fiff.html
  • Contact Dame Wotta Tripp by e-mail.
    contact.html
  • Would you rather contact Dame Wotta Tripp by Ouija board? Instructions for contacting her during a spirit-board séance in order to receive a free consultation can be found right here!
    contact-dame-wotta-tripp-by-ouija-board.html
  • Dame Wotta Tripp has been giving excellent advice to disturbed persons since well before 1873. Read some of the pitiful cries for help she receives daily and see the wisdom of Dame Wotta Tripp in action as she solves problems and helps deliver people from their terrible situations.
    advice-letters.html
  • Dame Wotta Tripp advises a man who is working on a breeding experiment to discover the benefits of crossing a chicken with a duck.
    what-the-dickens.html
  • Dame Wotta Tripp counsels a young farmer who is being taken advantage of by his entire family.
    4-bottle-technique.html
  • Dame Wotta Tripp receives an insult in a letter written to her advice column and feels that she must discipline the writer.
    talk-backwards-to-me.html
  • A woman with an ostrich farm writes for advice telling Dame Wotta Tripp that she secretly hates the birds that took over her life at an early age, preventing her from fulfilling her dreams.
    ostrich-leather.html
  • A lady writes for advice to Dame Wotta Tripp in a panic after shooting her husband dead and finding a tiny image of herself imprinted on his retina.
    seeing-eye-to-eye-on-fidelity-issue.html
  • A man who wishes to throw salad dressing all over his bride and guests at his own up-coming wedding due to a fetish gets a dressing-down from Dame Wotta Tripp.
    delirious-fetish-dressing-for-wedding-salads.html
  • After loneliness drives a person to steal somebody and lock them up for three months in a basement, they write to Dame Wotta Tripp for advice on giving the abducted victim back.
    stealing-people-is-wrong.html
  • A young girl falls head-over-heels in love with a serial killer - who else could she turn to for advice but Dame Wotta Tripp?
    absolute-loyalty-demanded-by-goat-flayer.html
  • Henry Hatter passes away in a freak accident that not even Dame Wotta Tripp could avert! All she can do is comfort his shattered family.
    wotta-tripp-is-too-late.html
  • A young lady receives the unusual offer of an otherworld fairy marriage while waiting at the bus stop, and Dame Wotta Tripp attempts to make her see what a lucky girl she is!
    amazing-fortune-at-bus-stop.html
  • A terrible fate awaited those who crosed this jealous teen when she tried her hand at black magic and inadvertently wreaked havoc. Can Dame Wotta Tripp help?
    a-slight-magical-hiccup.html
  • A series of misadventures with candles and snakes cause a dreadful situation during the 'Blissful Flutters' introductory course to Tantric sex. What will Dame Wotta Tripp recommend?
    tantric-mishaps-reveal-inadequate-companion.html
  • A person who is intent on researching whether or not chickens cross roads receives a stern reaction from Dame Wotta Tripp, who feels her time is being wasted.
    fowl-play.html
  • Dame Wotta Tripp counsels a broken man who had a terrible experience one night after being trapped in a public house after-hours.
    swarming-with-dwarfs-at-the-ferrets-revenge.html
  • Dame Wotta Tripp counsels a woman who plans to shoot her cheating lover in the ego, believing it to be the largest area of the body and wishing to know whereabouts it is.
    where-do-men-store-their-egos-straight-shooting-advice.html
  • Dame Wotta Tripp attempts to help a young lady who is pregnant due to an alien abduction.
    pale-hairless-and-would-never-fit-in-anyway.html
  • A ouija board used foolishly in a teen game unleashes a demon that leads to Shifty the dog's demise and Mitzi's possession. Only Dame Wotta Tripp knows what will happen next.
    demonic-terror-unleashed.html
  • A distressed neice pleads for help from Dame Wotta Tripp when an uncle disturbs the entire household eating eggshells and crunching them in an extremely noisy manner each day.
    when-it-comes-to-the-crunch.html
  • Someone wasting Dame Wotta Tripp's time receives only a veiled threat in reply from the impatient 'first lady' of advice
    i-know-where-you-live.html
  • According to Dame Wotta Tripp, the planet is packed full of creatures who deliberately attempt to imbibe alcohol for its pleasurable and intoxicating effects.
    liquored-up-beasts.html
  • Thinking too deeply about dust has eerie consequences for a person with OCD. Can Dame Wotta Tripp help?
    the-dreadful-secrets-of-dust.html
  • A group of men from a distant land contact Dame Wotta Tripp because they have a very important question for her.
    dear-dam-wotta-tipp-lady.html
  • Dame Wotta Tripp is asked for help by a woman who once believed she could see fairies and would now like to be able to see real ones.
    floating-posers-make-retinal-fairies-take-flight.html
  • A sexist Australian farmer loses his wife and then complains to Dame Wotta Tripp hoping for advice, which he liberally receives.
    me-sheilas-missing.html
  • A girl is certain that the animals she loves and that her relatives disapprove of are cleaner than some of her family members, so she asks Dame Wotta Tripp for moral support.
    scrupulously-clean-bottom.html
  • Dame Wotta Tripp thinks that a boyfriend who believes unsubstantiated gossip about his girl may not be worth keeping around.
    hey.html
  • A naiive and immature would-be aviator lacking a shrewd business head might get more than he bargained for when he writes to Dame Wotta Tripp for advice.
    help-from-zimbabwe.html
  • Dame Wotta Tripp receives a happy up-date letter from Phillip Bruce Nugent VII in Australia, whose Sheila was missing.
    in-and-out.html
  • Dame Wotta Tripp has little compassion for a letter-writer who seems to have lost all hope.
    darkness-gathers.html
  • When a man's wife repeatedy puts him out with the garbage each week Dame Wotta Tripp knows it's time to help him out.
    co-respondent-in-detroit.html
  • A sinister overnight visit with an elderly aunt almost costs a man his life, and Dame Wotta Tripp must warn him never to return unless he wants to sleep with the ornamental koi in aunty's garden pond.
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  • Dame Wotta Tripp gives some matter-of-fact advice to a woman experiencing bad luck.
    time-to-join-the-real-world-baby.html
  • A distressed schoolboy writes to Dame Wotta Tripp explaining he sold his soul and now wants it back. Wotta Tripp delivers a stern warning regarding the marketing of souls in general.
    soul-services.html
  • Dame Wotta Tripp recounts the sad story of a man who meets a sorry end in Kentucky at the hands of militant right-wing cabbage whites.
    man-killed-by-enraged-cabbage-whites.html
  • Happy clients submit testimonials about their resolved issues after writing to Dame Wotta Tripp for advice.
    advice-column-testimonials.html
  • The Dame Wotta Tripp Advice quality links page.
    links.html
  • Dame Wotta Tripp’s Advice Column: A wickedly dark and humorous advice column run by Dame Wotta Tripp, who claims "humor is best taken black with no sugar".
    dame-wotta-tripp-advice-sitemap.html
  • The terms of use and site policy for the 'Dame Wotta Tripp Advice' web site.
    terms-of-use-and-site-policy.html
  • The Dame Wotta Tripp Advice site privacy policy.
    site-privacy-policy.html

Dame Wotta Tripp Is For Hire!
Pay her good money to destroy your rival's (or your own) website, magazine or company with her exemplary advice and articles. No business too large!

Testimonials:

"Once you see her, you will never forget her" is exactly true, when you're talking about DWT. Dazzling demonstrations of mind reading! She had the audience in the palm of her hand & blew us away by accurately revealing our inner thoughts! She divulged phone numbers, social security numbers, personal addresses & the names of lovers, all while still making us laugh, smile and dance!"

- Trend Realty Executives Awards 

Dame Wotta Tripp drew vast amounts of business my way due to the publicity surrounding the court case - I would recommend her writing with absolutely no reservations (it's too late anyway) wottsoever.

- London Ted

"We thank Dame Wotta Tripp again for her  presentation which was incredibly entertaining and frankly, astounding! Those of us who are still working here look forward to seeing her at next year's culling."

- Black Tide Commerce, Inc. 

Dame Wotta Tripp Can Help Even You

Click on the picture above to see how Wotta Tripp can help even you!

"All  barriers of race and custom disappeared because of her phenomenal audience interaction. The fact that Wotta Tripp got a lengthy standing ovation from this diverse group as they tried to find the exit before smoke engulfed the building shows that she is the absolute best!" 

- Grieve & Associates

 

"The rave reviews about Dame Wotta Tripp 's performance are still circulating . Her sizzling presentation wrapped up our awards banquet, both at the Yacht Club and afterwards in the hospital emergency room. She blew us out of the water!"   

- Edge Commerce 2011 Global Sales Kick-Off

 

"Dame Wotta Tripp's customized presentation reinforced our message of client connectivity in a unique and memorable way, while her mentalism demonstrations were not only out of this world, but also eerie! How does she know so much? How does she tell you not only the city and address of your home, but then also describe what the rooms look like from the inside and how you behave in them when you're having an episode?"

- Beyond Hope Mental Health Association 

 

"Dame Wotta Tripp brought laughs, amazement, and fun to our meeting, providing magic audience participation, with people repeatedly appearing and disappearing all night long. This set a perfect tone for our year's-end meeting."

- Association for the Visually Impaired

 

"Thankfully, there is no way that anyone else can do what Dame Wotta Tripp does. During cocktails Dame Wotta mingled with us all and performed some of her one-on-one psychic readings and then remained after her presentation for almost twelve hours, reading minds and talking to our customers, all the while keeping the exit doors magically locked ... incredible!"

- Entwhistle Locksmiths' Association

 

"At our National Manager’s meeting Dame Wotta was fantastic. Her informative, inspirational, yet entertaining presentation struck straight to the heart of the matter. Right after the event her books went flying right off the table! Fortunately, there were few injuries reported and the evenings undertakings continued in a sensational manner. Nobody can hold a candle to her!"

- Phoenix Casket Company, Inc. 

 

"Dame Wotta Tripp's performance stopped traffic & mesmerized the crowd. However, she didn’t stop there, creating a huge buzz at our show by drawing thousands of attendees & successfully driving qualified leads right through our booth. The loud splintering noises attracted a huge crowd. You get more than your money's worth, when you use Wotta Tripp!"

-  Fortune Construction Ltd.

 

"Dame Wotta Tripp did a fantastic job helping our movement become the center of attention on the trade show floor. We more than doubled our total traffic and had a whopping increase in leads. We have never, ever had to change the toilet rolls at our trade show before - we had to change them twice this year! The best money we’ve ever spent!"

- Blinding Insight Movement

 

 Dame Wotta Tripp Advice
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 Cat's Corner - Ishfold, Mog & Widgeon
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 Simply Beastly Book
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 Out in the Open - Essays by Ishfold
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 How To Meet The Right People
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 Your Decision - Ethics Versus Morals
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 Do Your Emotions Betray You?
 Effective Communication
 How Can I Save My Relationship?
 Money And Romance
 Turn The Heat Up Under Your Relationship
 Keeping Your Relationship Fresh
 In-Laws And Other Monstrosities
 Interference And Manipulation
 Teen Romance
 Is Your Partner Having An Affair?
 How To Catch Them Cheating!
 The Break-Up
 Moving On
 Night Soil - A Moon-Garden of Tips for a Better Relationship
 Secrets Of The Night
 Moth Wings
 Foods Of Love
 The Real Taj Mahal
 Secrets Of Attraction
 The Nature Of Dreams
 Dream Lovers
 Lover's Moon - Love Spells
 Just Two Little Words
 Morgasms
 Sex Secrets From The Past
 What Is An Orgasm?
 How To Have Amazing Orgasms
 The Chemistry Of Love
 Games You Can Play
 Tantric Sex
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 Sensual Poetry by Ishfold
 I Dream Of You
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 All Is Vanity
 Flight Of Birds
 It Isn't Natural
 White Cat
 In the Shadow Of Her Hat
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 Submit!
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 The Well of Wotta
 What Happens When I Die, Dame Wotta Tripp?
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 How To Apply For Godchild Status
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 Submit Your DNA Sample Here
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 Eliminate Your Crooked Business Partner
 Fire Your Hideous Boss
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 I'm Very, Very Sorry
 Will You Marry Me?
 Letter Writing Service Testimonials
 You Need A Darn Good Telling Off!
 Order A Darn Good Telling Off!
 Craig Dooley - the 'Darn Good Telling Off' you ordered has now arrived
 Cy Hunnicutt, The 'Darn Good Telling Off' You Ordered Has Arrived!
 Twyla Pipstaff - The 'Darn Good Telling Off' You Ordered Has Now arrived
 Confessional
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 Wottribution Has Begun!
 Punishment
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 Did The World End In 2012, Dame Wotta Tripp?
 Beyond 2012 Questions With Answers From Dame Wotta Tripp
 Absolutely Scandalous! - Dame Wotta Tripp's Internet Forum
 Join Absolutely Scandalous! - Wotta Tripp's Internet Forum
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 Contact Dame Wotta Tripp by Ouija Board
 Advice Letters
 What The Dickens?
 4-Bottle Technique
 Talk Backwards to Me
 Ostrich Leather
 Seeing Eye to Eye on Fidelity Issue
 Delirious Fetish Dressing for Wedding Salads
 Stealing People Is Wrong
 Absolute Loyalty Demanded By Goat Flayer
 Wotta Tripp Is Too Late!
 Amazing Fortune at Bus Stop!
 A Slight Magical Hiccup
 Tantric Mishaps Reveal Inadequate Companion
 Fowl Play
 Swarming With Dwarfs At The 'Ferrets Revenge'!
 Where Do Men Store Their Egos? Straight Shooting Advice
 Pale, Hairless and Would Never Fit In Anyway.
 Demonic Terror Unleashed
 When it Comes to the Crunch
 I Know Where You Live
 Liquored-Up Beasts
 The Dreadful Secrets of Dust
 Dear Dam Wotta Tipp Lady
 Floating Posers Make Retinal Fairies Take Flight!
 Me sheila’s Missing
 Scrupulously Clean Bottom
 Hey
 In and Out
 Darkness Gathers
 Co-Respondent in Detroit
 Concrete Proof is in the Graham Pudding
 Time to Join the Real World, Baby
 Soul Services
 Man Killed by Enraged Cabbage Whites
 Advice Column Testimonials
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